I've always felt that any blog I create would be perceived as narcissistic because blogs are perfect Me Machines and I'm not a huge fan of this sort of activity. Isn't that the point, though? I'm a very busy person and it's hard to keep all of my doings and interests straightened out and every now and then someone is genuinely interested in why I'm so busy.
So with this, I'm going to show you all the things.
Additionally, I'm hoping this will help me articulate some of my emotions. I feel I've become emotionally detached as a way of coping with my stress and autoimmune issues and while this has absolutely allowed me to adjust and stay functional, life isn't as bright. The last couple of years, I've noticed I'm becoming less empathetic and for now, it's concerning. There may come a time where I'm not concerned and I'd rather that not happen.
Anyway, I'm Lori. I'm 30. I work full-time and I'm a part-time Arts & Technology student at the University of Texas at Dallas. I'm trying to decide if I want to get into game design or 3D modeling. This career shift is...scary. Scary, but necessary. You see, when I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis in 2010, I spent some time reflecting and upon learning that my life will likely be shorter than it otherwise might be, I decided I'd much rather spend my time doing things I love (or at least like) than not. Wouldn't you?
So! Here I am, rebooting at a time when my friends, family, and peers seem to be settled and progressing. It's frightening and exhilarating.
I've also started gardening, but whatevs.
Your last paragraph is provocative. It's interesting that you feel like you're rebooting, because I felt...remediated (for lack of a better term) when this thing started. I just felt behind the curve, but I've found the bright side: because I'm such a worry-wart, it's helped tremendously to be able to ask friends if what I'm going through is normal or rare or whatever. I would have had a lot of trouble if I was going through this completely on my own or first
ReplyDeleteWhat? The gardening isn't provocative? Look at how those babies bend...
ReplyDeleteI understand what you're saying. Now that all of my peers and similarly-aged family have young children or established families in addition to established careers, I'm feeling the same remediation...and I've just put myself further behind with these choices I'm making. So, that's why I've chosen to consider it a reboot.